HEY HEY JAWN JAWN I DON’T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND HEY HEY JAWN JAWN I THINK YOU NEED A BOYFRIEND HEY HEY JAWN JAWN I COULD BE YOUR BOYFRIEND~ I CAN SEE THE WAY, SEE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ME AND EVEN WHEN YOU LOOK AWAY I KNOW YOU THINK OF ME. I KNOW YOU TALK ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME AGAIN AND AGAIN~ SO COME OVER HERE, TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO HEAR. BETTER YET MAKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND DISAPPEAR! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY HER NAME EVER AGAIN. SHE’S LIKE SO WHATEVER. YOU COULD DO SO MUCH BETTER~ I THINK WE SHOULD GET TOGETHER NOW. AND THAT’S WHAT EVERYONE’S TALKING ABOUT~
theyre british what did you expect
of course theyre gonna be pussies
cant handle american women
this is why we won the war
oh will you shut the fuck up with your stupid fucking American eagle.
how did your tea taste
after we threw it in the harbor
bitch
The Gone fandom
Where many are in love with a psychopath
and the most controversial character is a geeky blonde.
what was up with Andrew’s bowtie tonight.
Wait isn’t that ACTUALLY A TIE rather than a bow-tie?
DAT HIPSTER
… Now I’m imagining him at home about half an hour before he’s due to leave like SHIT FUCK I FORGOT TO PICK UP THE BOW TIE FUCK WHAT DO I DO
I KNOW
~IMPROVISE~
… and then afterwards to himself in the mirror:
MY BAFTA RANT RAWWWWWRRRR ANGER
Okay, before you read this, I want you to know that this will mostly be incoherent and angry, and I’m not familiar with the other actor who won and I’m not saying he sucks. But if you get offended easily, stop here because the rest of this will be me Cumberbitching.
WHY DIDN’T BENEDICT WIN A BAFTA GODDAMNIT HE IS PERFECT HE DESERVED ONE HE SHOULD HAVE FUCKING WON A FUCKING BAFTA OKAY HE ALREADY FEELS LIKE HE ISN’T WORTHY NOW HE’S GOING TO FEEL LIKE A LOSER BECAUSE NOW MARTIN AND ANDREW BOTH HAVE BAFTAS AND HE DOESN’T AND JUST GIVE THE MAN A FUCKING AWARD BECAUSE I LOVE HIM AND HE DESERVES EVERY ACTING AWARD IN EXISTENCE BECAUSE HE IS THAT PERFECT AND AN AMAZING ACTOR AND HE NEEDS RECOGNITION FOR THE PERFECTION THAT IS BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH DO YOU KNOW THE FURY WITH WHICH I AM POUNDING THESE WORDS INTO MY KEYBOARD I WILL FORGE HIM AN AWARD USING THE FIRES OF HELL AND MY TEARS IF I HAVE TO
IF HE DOESN’T WIN A BAFTA NEXT YEAR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SWIM ACROSS THE FUCKING ATLANTIC OCEAN AND MURDER WHOEVER DOESN’T THINK HE SHOULD GET A BAFTA WITH MY BARE FUCKING HANDS THEN I WILL PAINT MYSELF IN THEIR BLOOD AND FLY INTO THE SUN
-end Cumberbitching rant-
Sorry for raping the all-caps and threatening to become a mass murderer. Benedict just has that effect on me.
Here, now have some happy Cumberdancing!
- Fans: Do you know what happens if we don't see them kiss in Series Three, Moffat, to you?
- Moffat: Oh, let me guess. I get hate mail.
- Fans: No, don't be obvious; we're going to send you hate mail, anyway. No, if you don't let Sherlock and John at least hug in Series Three, we will burn you. We will burn the HEART out of you.
- Moffat: I'v been reliably informed by Doctor Who fans that I don't have one.
- Fans: Oh, but we both know that's not quite true.
- Gatiss: *enters, wearing a vest rigged with explosives* This is a turn-up, isn't it, Steven? Bet you never saw this coming.
